He Never Puts More On Us, I Believe That!!

So today is what, June 30th? My last rambling was a month and a half ago, not too terribly bad considering all that I've had going on. Yes, I forgot I had started a blog. I knew I would, it was just a matter of how long it took me. Two entries, whoo hoo, go me! Geez.

Well Christy is doing well, finely, from her surgery. Once she finally decided to slow down and actually rest she started to recover and heal. It took her almost winding back up in the hospital with torn stitiches though for her to let her body recover. The woman, she just goes at 180mph, no wonder she helped get me started in NASCAR.

Me? I'm doing well, knock-on-wood and Praise Jesus!!! BUT, there's always a "but" in these things, my Nanny has been diagnosed with Large B-cell Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma, just almost 5 years to the day from her original diagnosis and remission. We meet with the oncologist this afternoon at 1:30, since it is now 1:30 in the am, to see what Dr. Cantrell has to offer as far as treatment options. His nurse, when she called with the biopsy results, stated he did not feel she will be a chemo-candidate, as her body will not be strong enough for it. Now crazy as it sounds, other than a low red blood cell count thanks to the chemo the 1st time, Nanny is perfectly healthy, at 82-years young. She doesn't even feel bad, just a little tired due to the anemia. And she looks like the picture of health, you'd never know by looking at her that she not only has cancer but it's apparently quite extensive. We'll find out more about that, what stage and all that ugly junk tomorrow. Please keep us in your prayers, we are about to hit a very, very tough brick wall it seems, that only the Lord can take down for us.

In my life, the 2 most spiritual-no I don't like the word spiritual anymore because that has come to encompass too many strange religions and such- but the 2 most Godly people I have known are my Nanny and my Aunt Ann. They were both diagnosed with 2 different cancers at the same time 5 years ago. My Aunt Ann has gone to get things ready for all of us in Heaven, and my Nanny is now relapsing with the same exact thing she had 5 years ago. Now ain't that some mess? So again, please keep my Nanny, Dorothy Ramsey, in your prayers, not to mention the rest of us!

Let's see what else is going on? I'm getting my financial aid together to get in school this fall, I'm determined nothing will get in the way this time. Last semester they got my financials all messed up and I had to wait. This is the first time I've ever had to mess with any of that stuff and now I understand why all my friends fussed about it. Yes, financial aid is a giant pain in the boo-tay but I am so very thankful for that pain in the boo-tay because without it, there is no way I could go back to school! And I've got plenty of boo-tay for them to be a pain in so bring - it - on, I can so handle it!

What else, what else? Oh. I started working on a little bidness to try and make me some muney so that I might be able to enjoy a few things in life again, but that's kinda on hold again for right now since this with Nanny has come up. I'm determined to work on it though. Not saying what I'm doing yet but it will be so surprising and unlike anything I have ever done before. I'll post pictures when I can get back to it and let y'all see it. Mother and I also have a whole other thing we'd like to do if we can get Nanny healthy, so hopefully we can work it all out! I think y'all would be really surprised at it too!! I'm so secretative!! :)

Callie is doing well, she says hello to everyone. We have been staying with Momma and Daddy the last few days. My Mom needs my help, she's been staying at Nanny and Papaw's a lot so I've been trying to learn and help out with her business, so that I can handle it when she's not here. And I've been taking care of their dogs, Momma and Daddy's 4 dogs. Good Lord. They are also remodeling their kitchen, so I've had to over-see the work being done while she's been at my g'parents' and stuff. The first few days, and the day Nanny had the biopsy surgery and such, I couldn't be around because I was sick myself, naturally. But Callie and I have been hanging out over here. I think she's ready to go home, we both miss our house, but it's hard to begrudge it when you are needed here. Momma told me tonight she wasn't ready for me to go home, not for a while yet. What do you say to that?

OH, I have finally started writing my book. I've been planning to write one since I was 17-years old and I'm finally doing it. (A good friend of mine recently had a book published and it is selling like crazy. It's "I Love You, Mille" by Christopher St. Clair. I HIGHLY recommend it! It's very easy to read, I recommend it from tweens on up. It's a Christian-based story of true love, faith and friendship. Perfect book to read on a summer vacation, or a rainy day. Hop on amazon.com and get you a copy then tell Chris I sent you!) So anyway, my friend Chris who wrote the book inspired me to go on with my dream; if he can do it, I can do it! I prayed about what I was going to write on. There were several "topics" floating around in this mushy brain of mine so I waited until the Lord pressed one on me and I picked up a notebook and pen, sat down at the patio table on the backporch one night and it just started to flow! I've now transposed it all into Word, which really is just not near as much fun, even if I can take the laptop outside, it's just not as much fun. I had visions of all these spiral-bound notebooks being numbered with a magic marker to put them in order and being worth thousands of dollars one day, or in a museum. Or in a museum worth thousands of dollars, that's more like it! So I guess I need to share the topic, huh? It's of course a romance story-line, but it is based on one of MY romantic relationships that originally began in high school. I'm of course taking massive creative liberties with it, and I haven't even decided how it's going to end, but last summer when **said guy** and I were dating, he wanted me to write "our story." He said it over and over. Well I don't care for the way it has ended to this point; but that is always subject to change. And that means the way I feel about the ending or the ending, not sure yet! :)

That should be all of the updates I guess. So to the subject of my blog for this month, even though I meant to do this way more than I have. I do believe God never puts more on us than we can handle. And yes, sometimes I do have to ask Him is He really sure I can handle all that He puts on me because I feel like I'm carrying the weight of the world. Then I stop and remind myself, no matter what I'm going through, there is always somebody who has it worse than me. There may be times when I just really don't give a rat's if somebody else has it worse or not, I'm only worried about me, and I have to ask for forgiveness for my selfishness after I take the time to calm down, but I always do calm down and realize it. And I do know that something good does come out of all bad things. We may not see immediate "good results" but there will be something good that will come out of a bad happening, somewhere.

The past 2 1/2 weeks have been a horror with what we have gone through with my Nanny; having to go for the biopsy, them deciding she had to have surgery to remove the knot under her right arm for the biopsy, the knot quadrupled in size in 2 days, etc. It was a whirlwind of insanity and most all of it bad things and bad news coming at my small, 5 person family left and right. But you know what else has happened? My relationship with my Momma has deepened and is growing back to what it was years ago. We used to be so incredibly close my entire life until about 10 years ago, and in the last 8 years ago, it's become almost non-existant. In the last year, it has really changed because of my own medical issues and we have truly tried to change things, but with this happening, my Mom has changed her attitude toward me and mine toward her has changed and we are growing closer and closer by the minute. The same with my Daddy. So right there, 2 something goods have already come out of this horrible situation. And I'm learning, I'm learning all kinds of knew information that will help me help a friend, neighbor, or even a stranger one day. It may even help me in school, who knows how I'll be able to use all that I'm learning? Heck, I may even need it myself one day. It's also getting my mind working and thinking, getting it ready for school. How long has it been since I've done research like this? It's been a minute or two, I must say.

So when I realize that God has given me these gifts out of what has happened to this point, it makes it just a tad easier to deal with. And you know what? I'm handling it. I realize there's a lot more to come, but that means there's a lot more good things to come too. God is also using this situation to show me who really loves me, who my true friends are. I've had an amazing outpouring of emails, text messages, phone calls, facebook messages and comments. It's truly overwhelmed me, people you don't even think pay attention, or care, have messaged me, or called me. And some of the people who I thought were my closest friends haven't. God brings us truth, He brings us love, and He doesn't bring us anymore than we can handle. Afterall, He carries our burdens for us! :)

I'm going to go goodnight now in this good morning.

Blessings to all,
S